Women Can Tell When You're Trying Too Hard
|Gerardo Gabriel
Most men think attraction is about doing more.
More talking.
More flexing.
More explaining.
More designer logos.
More stories about how busy they are.
The funny part is that the harder a man tries to create an impression, the more obvious it becomes.
Women notice effort.
They also notice when the effort starts looking desperate.
The truth is, most men aren't losing because they're not trying hard enough.
They're losing because everyone can see them trying.
Trying Too Hard Is Usually About Validation
A man who constantly needs attention is usually asking for approval.
He wants people to know he's successful.
He wants people to know he's important.
He wants people to know he's attractive.
The problem is that confidence rarely needs an announcement.
Women can usually tell the difference between a man who is comfortable with himself and a man who is performing for an audience.
One feels natural.
The other feels like an audition.
The Loudest Man In The Room Rarely Wins
Movies have convinced a lot of men that confidence means dominating every conversation.
In reality, the man who talks the most is often the least secure.
The man who constantly reminds everyone of his accomplishments usually isn't trying to share them.
He's trying to convince himself they matter.
Women pick up on this quickly.
They notice posture.
They notice behavior.
They notice consistency.
And as discussed in Women Pay Attention To Details Men Ignore, they often pay attention to far more than men realize.
The details are usually speaking long before the words do.
Style Is One Of The Easiest Examples
This is where clothing becomes interesting.
A well-fitted shirt gets noticed.
A shirt covered in logos, chains, slogans, and attention-seeking details gets noticed too.
For completely different reasons.
Style works best when it feels effortless.
The goal isn't to walk into a room and make everyone stare.
The goal is to walk into a room and look like you belong there.
That's one reason properly fitted clothing consistently outperforms trends.
A man wearing one of our Tailored Fit Shirts doesn't need to explain why he looks put together.
The fit does most of the talking.
The same principle applies to our Tailored Fit Pants.
Clean lines.
Good proportions.
No unnecessary distractions.
Confidence tends to look remarkably simple.
Women Notice Comfort More Than Performance
One of the biggest misconceptions men have is believing women are looking for perfection.
Most aren't.
They're looking for authenticity.
A man who is comfortable with himself is usually more attractive than a man trying to create the perfect image.
The second man spends the entire evening managing perception.
The first man is simply present.
Ironically, the less energy you spend trying to impress people, the more relaxed you become.
And relaxation is often mistaken for confidence.
The Men Women Remember
Women rarely remember every man they meet.
They remember the men who felt different.
The man who wasn't seeking validation.
The man who wasn't forcing a personality.
The man who wasn't trying to dominate the room.
The man who looked comfortable in his own skin.
That comfort tends to show up everywhere.
In conversation.
In body language.
In clothing.
In how a man carries himself.
Because the strongest signal a man can send is surprisingly simple:
He doesn't need everyone to notice him.
And somehow, that's exactly why they do.
